You may remember fondly how things used to be. You still dream that the life with your partner could be as exciting as it was when you first got together. Everything seemed so easy. We get hooked on those feelings and expect them to last. We become confused, disappointed, and angry when reality clashes with what we thought would last forever. When this situation continues it drains away both life and love.
Becoming a more effective partner is the most efficient way to change a relationship. You can't create a flourishing relationship by only fixing what's wrong. But it's a start.